The Twin Lakes Home Owners Association in the Sanford, Florida gated community where George Zimmerman shot 17-year-old Trayvon Martin on February 26, 2012 voted unanimously, in a special Sunday executive session, to crucify its former Neighborhood Watch Captain this coming Friday, April 6, 2012 — Good Friday on the Christian Calendar.

“The Zimmerman incident has become an embarrassment to our community,” said HOA Chairperson, Lirpa Sloof, “and in this lousy real-estate economy we just can’t put the equity investments in our homes at risk. George is a great guy and I’m sure he understands our position. Aside from anything else, we’re going to follow the pagan tradition of the Corn King, and for the next five days George can have any woman in the community he wants, any luxury he wants, right up to the moment that first nail goes in.”

George Zimmerman to be crucified Good Friday

George Zimmerman,
to be crucified this Good Friday

Asked if the HOA is concerned that the Zimmerman crucifixion will bring reprisal from either churches who consider the crucifixion blasphemous, or from prosecutors who might bring murder charges, Sloof laughed it off. “The Reverends Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson have led protest marches demanding justice for Trayvon right up to our front gate. So much for the churches. As for the government,” Sloof continued, “Millions have signed a petition demanding that Zimmerman be arrested, The New Black Panther Party has issued a ‘dead or alive’ bounty on George Zimmerman. President Obama has said that Trayvon Martin looks like the son he would have had. We’re not just protecting ourselves. If criminal charges are not brought against George Zimmerman — or if a jury finds him not guilty of murder — there will be riots and arson at least as bad as those following the April 1992 police acquittals in the Rodney King beating case. By crucifying this one man, we’re saving the lives of hundreds and possibly billions of dollars in property damage. Far from anyone indicting us, CBS has promised us nail-to-nail coverage this Friday as the pilot for our own reality TV show. They’re already out rounding up contestants to make crucifixions a weekly show. We’re told the first commercials for the series will be on upcoming episodes of The Amazing Race and their hit legal drama, The Good Wife.”


This article is Copyright © 2012 The J. Neil Schulman Living Trust. All rights reserved.

Winner of the Special Jury Prize for Libertarian Ideals from the 2011 Anthem Film Festival! My comic thriller Lady Magdalene’s — a movie I wrote, produced, directed, and acted in it — is now available free on the web linked from the official movie website. If you like the way I think, I think you’ll like this movie. Check it out!

Bookmark and Share