J. Neil Schulman
@ Agorist.com
Become An IMDb Troll in Ten Easy Steps!
The IMDb message boards are a fertile breeding ground for anonymous posters with seemingly endless energy, no life, and a bloodsucker’s parasitical attachment to any independent filmmaker who does what appears to be beyond their imagination: actually make a movie that somebody might like to watch.
My film, Lady Magdalene’s, has become an object of their attention, due to my writing on the IMDb “Help” board that multiple spam “1” votes (“1″ being worst, out of a possible “10”) were being registered from outside the United States, where the movie has never screened or otherwise been sold.
The troll’s retaliation was the registration of 103 more “1” votes overnight.
So if you’re a fucking moron with nothing better to do than trash movies you’ve never seen, here’s an easy guide to becoming a troll on IMDb.
1. You’ll need a minimum of five anonymous IMDb accounts since your activity will eventually cause IMDb staff to delete one or two of them — but if you can manage over one hundred anonymous accounts, you can spam the movie rating system for indie films and dramatically lower the IMDb rating.
2. It is considered UnTroll Activity ever to watch any of the movies you trash.
3. If the film you’re trolling has won film-festival awards, deny that the film festival exists, and demand proof that the award was ever given. If anyone from the production responds, demand links proving the festival award exists, and if the link is posted repeatedly claim it doesn’t work.
4. Accuse anyone posting a positive user review of the film you’re trolling of being a paid shill of the filmmaker. Report their review to IMDb staff as being written by the production staff and have it removed.
5. Accuse anyone objecting to your lies as being an unlibertarian Orwellian who believes in censorship.
From DeviantArt, Whynne’s iconic ‘Troll’
6. Posting a lie once is ineffective. Any lie must be posted at least two dozen times to have any effect.
7. Claim that any filmmaker responding to questions on the IMDb message board for their film is violating IMDb rules by commercially promoting their film on the message boards.
8. Call the filmmaker a Jewish shyster and invoke as many antisemitic stereotypes from movies as you can find. Don’t worry if these comments are reported; that’s why you have all your backup accounts.
9. Call the filmmaker a troll whenever he calls you a troll.
10. Remember: you’re anonymous! Nobody can do a damned thing about anything you write, so lie, lie, lie, and lie again!
Winner of the Special Jury Prize for Libertarian Ideals from the 2011 Anthem Film Festival! My comic thriller Lady Magdalene’s — a movie I wrote, produced, directed, and acted in it — is now available as a DVD on Amazon.com and for sale or rental on Amazon.com Instant Video. If you like the way I think, I think you’ll like this movie. Check it out!
August 7, 2011 - 3:29 pm
Shakedown on the IMDb:
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0783538/board/thread/186666897
The anonymous IMDb Troll Moo-Town-EhHehAOliveOil is demanding a $50 Amazon.com gift certificate from me.
Threat documented.
August 7, 2011 - 5:03 pm
Subject: IMDb encourages asymmetrical. warfare against indie filmmakers
Date: Sun, 07 Aug 2011 15:36:25 -0700
From: J. Neil Schulman
Organization: Jesulu Productions
To: Jeff Bezos
Dear Mr. Bezos,
By allowing and encouraging anonymous users to register ratings, write user reviews, and post on the IMDb message boards, IMDb has created a toxic environment for independent films and filmmakers, because IMDb is overwhelmed by trolls using multiple anonymous accounts which they use to attack independent films and independent filmmakers who use IMDb for its intended purpose of providing information about their films to the viewing public.
The only correction for this is to institute the same policy Amazon.com has adopted: only allow users to post comments, make votes, and write reviews under accounts tied to real and verifiable identities.
J. Neil Schulman
IMDb Pro Subscriber
Withoutabox filmmaker
CreateSpace customer
Amazon.com merchant
August 9, 2011 - 5:46 am
Thank you sir, I laughed so hard I sneezed and lost control of my bowels at the same time. . . luckily I had a Kleenex® brand facial tissue nearby so not all is lost.
He sounds like a member of al Qaeda, perhaps you should report him to the Department of Homeland Security.
August 10, 2011 - 8:05 am
mootown and ayelewis are two of the biggest assholes on the interent.
they masturbate all day long to the expendables board. imdb is and will remain a cesspool until they invest in a better board system and admins.
August 10, 2011 - 10:01 am
I had some run-ins with mongo-villageidiot-oohahbumlubeoil, and I’m pleased to say that the troll and his posts have been removed from IMDB, as well as a couple of his little friends.
August 11, 2011 - 6:31 am
As someone who has had the misfortune of dealing with the Moo-Town kid, I sincerly hope that you are planning on following up on this?
August 18, 2011 - 3:49 am
As a heads up, he’s now using the screen name MickeyDeesDelight
Looks like you scared him enough for him to change names, which is quite an accomplishment as he must have gonr through at least twenty variations of Moo-Town-xxxx in the last year.
I salute you sir!
August 22, 2011 - 2:13 pm
Right on my man!
August 28, 2011 - 2:02 pm
So, this person is now attempting to extort money from you? Interesting.
September 23, 2011 - 2:15 pm
Moo-town and AyeLewis live to troll. They don’t have anything else in their lives. You should feel honored that Moo took a break from his Edgar Wright obsession for you. Maybe Wright caught on and sent him a gift certificate, or sent his lawyers after him.
October 18, 2011 - 5:49 pm
I closed out my account with them today. Got sick of the trolls. I found out one particularly vicious one was stalking my posts and attacking anyone who agreed with me. He or she accused them of being sock puppets and then they went on to call me rude and vulgar names. I reported them, but it did no good. So I’ve decided I’ve got better things to do than waste my time at the cesspool called IMDB. I think others ought to pull out of there as well, but I won’t hold my breath.
October 20, 2011 - 1:36 pm
I was so unaware of the whole Troll thing. So sad that the only way for someone to feel alive is to trash someone else. Probably comes from the same family as a computer virus originator.
October 31, 2011 - 7:19 am
Wait! Doesn’t it now require a cell phone number to register? Don’t they limit it to one account per telephone number?
IMDB itself has a guide to dealing with trolls: http://www.imdb.com/help/show_leaf?boardstrolls
December 2, 2011 - 6:27 pm
Jugoro–the cell phone # restriction thing seems to work only in certain cases. If you have what’s called in the US a ‘pay as you go phone’ (one with no set contract, where you simply load airtime onto the phone as you need it), the IMDB system will allow you to plug in that cellphone number an infinite amount of times, thereby allowing the user to create as many accounts as he desires. Until IMDB fixes this particular glitch, assclowns like AyeLewis and the Moo-moron will simply continue to exploit to it to create literally hundreds of trolling accounts, and to constantly launch new accounts as others are deleted. I’ve seen, for example, AyeLewis launch several new accounts in *one day* as well as re-launching deleted accounts almost immediately after they were deactivated, and I’m positive that this is how he’s managing it.
December 6, 2011 - 12:38 pm
I’m still wondering if there’s any truth to the rumour that IMDb founder Col Needham is trolling the boards under the name of Quasimodem2, a/k/a Discerning Taste.
That would be the ne plus ultra of geekdom if so, LOL.
December 7, 2011 - 12:40 am
It would certainly explain why no matter how vile the things written by these accounts, IMDb never deletes them.
December 9, 2011 - 6:24 am
amalia: Alright, so the next post should point out clearly that IMDB should change its telephone policies
December 9, 2011 - 6:35 pm
Neil, there is surely something peculiar afoot with the ‘AyeLewis’ accounts. For openers, I’m not certain whether ‘AyeLewis’ is actually one idividual who’s operating numerous accounts under the ‘AyeLewis’ prefix, or if it’s several different trolls each using some variant of the ‘AyeLewis’ username meme. For instance, there’s currently an ‘AyeLewis’ account called ‘AyeLewisTheDiablo’ which has had the post history completely wiped at least three times very recently, yet the account remains active. My understanding of IMDb rules makes it pretty plain that this many full wipes is more than sufficient to have the account deleted by site administrators entirely, yet that doesn’t seem to be happening in this case. Is there more than one user resurrecting the ‘AyeLewisTheDiablo’ name in order to keep the account active? Does IMDb permit various IP’s to register using the same username? (I thought not, but I could be wrong about this.)
The whole thing seems extremely odd. I’ve seen the user Quasimodem2 place some very ugly posts, which seem never to be actioned, and know for a fact that he has openly boasted to a couple of other site users about the fact that he routinely stalks and harrasses users who have had even minor differences of opinion with him. Yet his account goes on and on, untouched, although repeat harrassment is most definitely grounds for deactivation of an account, according to the site’s rules. If he’s not, in fact, Colin Needham himself, then I think it’s quite probable he’s either an IMDb employee or an intimate of same, who permits him to get away with his antics repeatedly.
Definitely a pathetic comment on the state of the site’s forums in any case.
December 11, 2011 - 10:12 am
Jugoro–you’re absolutely correct. I’m not even certain if IMDB is aware that this anomaly exists, but the problem with attempting to point out *anything* to the forum’s moderators is that the system appears to be largely automated, and it’s seemingly impossible to get through to a human being. Messages relayed to their so-called ‘Help Desk’ only result in the generation of a standard form response that in no way indicates they’ve seen or responded in reality to the message.
And even if it *is* viewed by human eyes at some point, IMDB is notoriously slow to implement any positive changes that might help to reduce trolling on the boards. About the only thingthey will respond to quickly is anything that threatens the database. So even if they are made aware of the ability of users to abuse ‘pay as you go’ cell numbers to activate multiple accounts, I don’t really expect to see them take any action on that information, unfortunately.
July 13, 2012 - 6:23 am
Sorry to hear that someone has been trashing your efforts, amigo. Sadly IMDB is now becoming an even worse sesspit of troll-like maggots, that it’s actually scared off ‘normal’ users.
As for Ayelewis, I’ve had several encounters with him in the past. He’s signed under countless usernames, and has even tried to mimic my own username (which is ‘Dolemite72′) to his own twisted ends.
I’ve been using IMDB for nearly ten years, although to look at my post history, you’d hardly guess, because as of monday, my entire ‘message board’ history has been wiped. And I’m now recieving gloating PM’s from Ayelewis (or one of his cronies) about it. I’ve tried contacting IMDB about this, but still no reply (they rarely seem bothered at the best of times, truth be told) and despite trying to ‘bump-up’ my message board history, I now have to wait 60 minutes inbetween posts….Go figure?
It’s as if IMDB side with the trolls?
Chin up amigo, don’t let the b*****ds grind you down.
Lee
September 6, 2012 - 8:13 am
I also was a former IMDB poster who had a couple of accounts and posted since I joined back in 2004 but self-deleted in late 2011, but briefly re-joined some months ago before deleting my account again. And as far as that AyeLewis character goes, he’s definitely one of dumbest f#cktards in the history of IMDB, and would even go as far as to hack into someone else’s account and pretend to be them (only for them to deny they ever did it)
And like someone above already mentioned, he still continues to post under whatever variant he’s under, even after witnessing him being nuked hundreds of times. Why administrators continue letting someone like him continue posting on there, we’ll never know.
October 4, 2012 - 3:20 am
Iceman, stop being such a butthurt child and grow a pair
October 15, 2012 - 7:55 am
I think the explanation for why the moderators fail to do much of anything regarding repeat trolls on the site is obvious enough–a fair number of IMDb moderators are trolling the site themselves.
Easy enough for them to do it, and virtually no risk of being caught out or punished in any way for doing so.
February 2, 2013 - 12:04 am
There is a flip side to this story. Film makers having honest negative reviews REMOVED, buying positive reviews, and buying botted positive ratings.
I am not a filmmaker. I have no interest in ever making a film. However I have seen enough movies to be able to tell garbage from something that is worth killing time on.
I have only written TWO reviews on IMDB. Both are honest opinions, written by me, real person, verified as such by IMDB. Yet, both of them were removed. I believe by same person. I am appealing both removals, however IMDB seems to have very bad feedback system and from looks of it most of actions regarding this type of thing are performed by their automated system or seriously unintelligent person.
Two movies I felt were bad enough to warrant both 1 star and a review from me were “I against I”, which is one of the worst movies I had misfortune to waste my time on, completely falsely advertised, whose “Executive Producer” Peter Slack goes around threatening legal action against defamation on any negative reviews and has his girlfriend write positive reviews for. I think its a fairly safe bet that any project involving Peter Slack will be waste of time, as from what I see, I find him to be talentless hack that tries to be internet bully.
And “Bad Kids Go To Hell”. A Movie that just plain sucks. They state that its inspired by “Breakfast Club”, but it has nothing to do with it. Its barely, vaguely similar only in that “detention” setting, which is really pointless. And I like one name actor they have, Judd Nelson, but movie is still utter garbage with very cheap FX.
So, maybe you have problem with trolls, or maybe you run into people like me, whose taste simply differs from yours. I did not see your movie, so I cant comment on it. But, when I spend money on 2 hours of entertainment, I expect it to be worth both my time and my money, otherwise lower expectations should be set from beginning and product should be free.
I know that probably is NOT what indie filmmakers want to hear, and I know every single one thinks they can replicate success of Blair Witch (which I, btw, did NOT like), but its the truth.
Example of very low budget movie I actually found worth watching is “Drunk Jedi Master” (I might have gotten name wrong, its not English movie, its some sort of Scandinavian). Its stupid, but entertaining, and website states all that upfront. It was free and they stream it directly on their website. I originally planned on only checking it out quickly, but it captured enough of my attention that I watched it til the end and dont regret my time spent.
February 14, 2013 - 1:36 pm
Let’s just send message boards to the dustbin. Their time is past. The best way to deal with trolls is burn the bridge that’s over their heads.
April 7, 2013 - 2:47 pm
Hi. I have seen the most disgusting attack over these last 25 days, and imdb us not doing anything about it. These cyberstalking lying abusing identity thieving low life scum Internet trolls need to be banned from the Internet permanently. AyeLewis won’t show his face, they all are such cowards, I seen public reports of police reports etc tht has been filed against this fraudster, BluesmanSF included. Someone needs to stop these low life’s from preying on innocent children and women!
April 27, 2013 - 5:48 pm
One of the oddest things with imdb is all of the lists, film and actor descriptions/bios that are written in kindergarten-level English. I’m extremely disappointed that imdb has decided that no moderation is necessary for trolls, and also that no proof-reading is necessary to ensure grammatical correctness anywhere else on the site.
April 27, 2013 - 6:04 pm
The above comment by Viktor is an example. While it is founded on sincerity, perhaps it would be good to edit such comments/reviews/whatnot when such things appear on imdb, for precisely the reason that he writes without articles, in many places where necessary.
Article omission is common in Eastern Bloc countries (I’ve taught English in Eastern Europe and Russia)…as they (articles) are seen as completely unnecessary, and an utter waste of time to MOST students and even (local, non-native) TEACHERS of English! In fact, it is official policy (from the teachers themselves) in some of those countries that if you have an essay that is over on word count, simply remove ANY articles as the first step in getting the count down.
While it may seem immaterial, the spirit of film/TV/literary writing is accuracy and precise communication of ideas. All parts of speech are important to those principles, and should be encouraged/learned.
May 5, 2013 - 7:55 am
IMBd has the potential of being an amazing site for the entertainment industry & yet they are satisfied in being a home for horny teenagers & lonely people who have nothing better to do than annoy serious film lovers.
Their boards are no better than the filth & stupidity at the Topix forums & they refuse to take any steps to raise that low level.
Until actors, directors & producers start to hold them accountable for allowing the endless anti-Semitic, racist, homophobic & just plain vulgar trolling at their boards, IMBd/Amazon won’t spend a penny to clean up the cesspool.
I don’t know why celebrities continue to allow IMBd to make money by hosting copyrighted pictures when they can’t be bothered to moderate the behavior of the posters & allow them to destroy the person’s ‘board.’
September 15, 2013 - 4:43 am
I never could understand why some people have to be so nasty. I left IMDB myself because of all the jerks. These people probably look like actual trolls in real life but they will sit there and bash and actress for gaining 5 lbs or call any attractive male actor gay. Between that and the people who trash a film that hasn’t even been released it’s just too much.
The worst are the pseudo intellectuals who will come on a board and tell every user how they must all have low IQs if they love a particular show or film. Now I just go on IMDB to research the film facts and find out actors names. No more boards for me.
October 13, 2013 - 2:07 am
I am a terrible example for “Eastern Bloc”. I am dual American/Canadian and a native speaker of English. That I omit articles is more about my own style of writing, than a reflection upon some country’s system.
Besides, I am used to my Editor messing with what I have written until I sometimes do not recognize its my own work.
I just do not feel IMDB reviews matter enough to bother with perfection. If you saw how I type when playing online games you would really have a fit
As for IMDB I took a break from it, then posted few more reviews, none were taken down, however I have also noticed that my complaint to IMDB staff about my reviews that kept being flagged was never answered. No response at all, and it has been nearly a year. So i am pretty certain IMDB is virtually completely automated these days which is why trolls who know their way around can be so much hassle to deal with.
November 4, 2013 - 10:08 pm
Without the trolls, IMDB & just about every other message board would be a VERY boring place.
November 16, 2013 - 1:16 am
Kyle but be one of those trolls. You are not interesting and no one likes the trolls. All it does is infuriate people who are trying to escape their stressful lives for a few moments.
November 16, 2013 - 1:16 am
must*
February 5, 2017 - 12:50 am
http://www.imdb.com/board/announcement
IMDb Message Boards Announcement
IMDb is the world’s most popular and authoritative source for movie, TV and celebrity content. As part of our ongoing effort to continually evaluate and enhance the customer experience on IMDb, we have decided to disable IMDb’s message boards on February 20, 2017. This includes the Private Message system. After in-depth discussion and examination, we have concluded that IMDb’s message boards are no longer providing a positive, useful experience for the vast majority of our more than 250 million monthly users worldwide. The decision to retire a long-standing feature was made only after careful consideration and was based on data and traffic.
Increasingly, IMDb customers have migrated to IMDb’s social media accounts as the primary place they choose to post comments and communicate with IMDb’s editors and one another. IMDb’s Facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/imdb) and official Twitter account (https://twitter.com/imdb) have an audience of more than 10 million engaged fans. IMDb also maintains official accounts on Snapchat (https://www.snapchat.com/add/imdblive), Pinterest (https://www.pinterest.com/imdbofficial/), YouTube (https://www.youtube.com/imdb), and Tumblr (http://imdb.tumblr.com/).
Because IMDb’s message boards continue to be utilized by a small but passionate community of IMDb users, we announced our decision to disable our message boards on February 3, 2017 but will leave them open for two additional weeks so that users will have ample time to archive any message board content they’d like to keep for personal use. During this two-week transition period, which concludes on February 19, 2017, IMDb message board users can exchange contact information with any other board users they would like to remain in communication with (since once we shut down the IMDb message boards, users will no longer be able to send personal messages to one another). We regret any disappointment or frustration IMDb message board users may experience as a result of this decision.
IMDb is passionately committed to providing innovative ways for our hundreds of millions of users to engage and communicate with one another. We will continue to enhance our current offerings and launch new features in 2017 and beyond that will help our customers communicate and express themselves in meaningful ways while leveraging emerging technologies and opportunities.