Mark Ames is a lying shithole of a Marxoid scumbag.

On his blog at The Exiled Online, Ames accuses me and other libertarians of being stooges for J. Edgar Hoover, and, without sourcing, quotes from a personal obituary I wrote for Agorism’s founder, Samuel Edward Konkin III, to accuse me of nostalgically being insufficiently radical to satisfy his revolutionary lust for a high collateral-damage body count.

This is not hyperbole, since Ames wrote a book calling the Columbine school shooting of high-school students and teachers by a couple of psychotropic-induced psychotic teenagers an act of political rebellion.

Ames wrote,

I did a brief check on what sort of “libertarian anarchists” were at Hunter College in the early 1970s, and discovered this: some libertarian hack named J. Neil Schulman waxing nostalgic about his libertarian youth, including some forgettable “libertarian anarchist” lectures at Hunter College in the early 1970s.

As it turns out, Schulman’s story goes a long way towards explaining why the FBI called off the dogs on these early libertarian “radicals.” Because they’re about as radical as the Partridge Family—no, actually, on the “radical” “danger to the system” scale, these Hunter College libertarians were so depressingly harmless and conventional, they made the Partridge Family look like the Symbionese Liberation Army.

Schulman’s reminiscences recount the touching tale of how the young 16-year-old Schulman first met his libertarian hero, one Samuel Konkin III, back in the early 1970′s. In scenes so hilariously banal they could have been taken from those old Chris Elliot Get A Life shows, we learn how Konkin showed the young Schulman the world, to the point that you can almost hear the montage soundtrack accompaniment as they’re, “searching out ‘underground gourmet’ restaurants…catching the latest Woody Allen movie or James Bond movie…[Sam] introduced me to the writings of Ludwig von Mises…[we] ate many of my mom’s homecooked meals at my parents’ apartment of [sic] the West Side of Manhattan…”

Oh, and of course, “Sam took me to my first libertarian conference at Hunter College in New York City.”

It’d all be so sad if it wasn’t a brief description of how the shit world we inherited turned to shit.

In Schulman’s libertarian Bildungsroman, the action goes from his mom’s kitchen and Hunter College anarcho-capitalist lectures to the big highway: Schulman and Konkin hit the road and head west to Southern California, where the libertarian duo go on to Big Things: Konkin joined a notorious Holocaust-denial outfit, the Institute for Historical Review, founded by white supremacist Willis Carto…while his disciple/sidekick Schulman grew up to be a big NRA propagandist, churning out “radical” PR garbage like his book Stopping Power: Why 70 Million Americans Own Guns, a book so radical that Charlton Heston’s blurb adorns book’s cover. Hey, if Charlton Heston blurbs your book, then folks, you know you’re stickin’ it to The Man, anarcho-libertarian style!

So now those strange FBI’s instructions ordering their spies to lay off the “libertarian anarchists” make sense. These “anarcho-capitalist” libertarians are the stuff of the old J Edgar Hoover’s wet dreams–“radical” youths who threaten radicals, not the capitalist system. “Anarchists” who suck the air out of anarchism’s threat to capitalism, and replace it with a fierce defense of capitalism; anarchists who grovel for a pat on the head from sleazy old Republicans like Charlton Heston—in J Edgar Hoover’s wildest dreams, could he ever have imagined it? (Actually, to be fair to the folks in the FBI, they must’ve despised these libertarian suck-ups as degenerate scum. Harmless scum, and useful scum, but scum nonetheless.)

This is just another reason why libertarianism is so goddamn offensive. They’ve even managed to turn “radical” into a harmless, meaningless, anti-radical brand—they’ve sucked out everything that was dangerous, and replaced it with its every opposite, the most shameless pro-capitalist, pro-bootlicking ideology imaginable. All they kept from the hippies was the very worst, most imbecilic, self-absorbed, childish nonsense that you can find in that Jerry Rubin manifesto: the whining about teachers, the whining about wanting to smoke pot and grow out his hair.

It’s the worst of all worlds—so naturally, the FBI did everything to coddle and protect it, and make sure it alone emerged unscathed from the counter-revolution crackdown in the 1970s and early 1980s.

Mark Ames, Photo Courtesy of
Mark Ames,
Photo Courtesy of

I chose to reply on his blog and submitted the following comment, which he chose not to publish:

Mark Ames chides me for waxing nostalgic about my youth … which he never sources as my tribute to my friend Samuel Edward Konkin III, written a few days after his death in February 2004. Maybe Mark Ames considers friendship irrelevant to whatever revolutionary people’s struggle he was involved with in his youth, but that would make it easy for me to caricature him as some old fart nostalgic for the days when his dick still worked.

Konkin, today, is regarded as the founder of the Agorist movement. Look it up on Wikipedia, Ames, since the revolutionary alternative to Geritol Marxism seems to have escaped your notice.

If you want to know what this particular libertarian hack has been doing since the 70’s, you can look me up on Wikipedia, too. Or Or IMDb.

And I suggest reading my article “Mere Anarchy” and apologize in advance if the agorist approach to achieving a free society doesn’t have a sufficiently high body count to satisfy your aging gonads.

I looked Mark Ames up on Wikipedia and learned he was born in October 1958. This surprised me because he wrote as if his voice had changed when I was getting busted at an anti-war-tax demonstration in 1972. It’s a pity when one so young is struck with Marxheimer’s Disease in the prime of life.

I couldn’t resist posting one more comment on his psycho rant:

“Going Postal: Rage, Murder, and Rebellion: From Reagan’s Workplaces to Clinton’s Columbine and Beyond, 2005 (ISBN 1-932360-82-4). In this work Ames argues that “killing sprees” at U.S. workplace and schools are acts of political insurgency rather than ordinary crimes or the actions of disturbed individuals.” — Wikipedia

I just have insufficient blood lust to satisfy this psychotic.

This one he chose to publish. Sort of.

He published, as a comment under my name:

27. J. Neil Schulman | July 7th, 2011 at 2:08 pm

“Going Postal: Rage, Murder, and Rebellion: From Reagan’s Workplaces to Clinton’s Columbine and Beyond, 2005 (ISBN 1-932360-82-4). In this work Ames argues that “killing sprees” at U.S. workplace and schools are acts of political insurgency rather than ordinary crimes or the actions of disturbed individuals.” — Wikipedia

I just have insufficient blood lust to satisfy this psychotic.

No seriously, I’m not at all bothered by Ames’ article. That’s why I’m posting these hilarious comments on Ames’s site: Because I’m not bothered at all. Nope, not at all. Not a lick, I say! It’s like what my hero Charlton Heston once said, “You can pry my not-at-all-bothered comments that I’m posting on your comments section as soon as you pry those comments from my lukewarm, retarded brain. Woops! The comment’s up! Oh well, guess you pried it. Dang! Hate when that happens!
Chuck Heston Fanboy-4-Ever

Okay, douchemouth. You want to play?

Come here where I can rewrite your comments under your byline, you disgrace to journalism.

Winner of the Special Jury Prize for Libertarian Ideals from the 2011 Anthem Film Festival! My comic thriller Lady Magdalene’s — a movie I wrote, produced, directed, and acted in it — is now available as a DVD on and for sale or rental on Instant Video. If you like the way I think, I think you’ll like this movie. Check it out!

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