I Love God. It’s religion I hate.

There are fundamentally two kinds of dreams. 1) Inner dreams are interactive movies your brain makes for you. You’re the only player. They can be creative but they end when you wake up. 2) Outer dreams connect to other places, people, continua. They’re transportation as much as communication. Most people don’t even know there’s more than 1).

Impress your friends! Prove you’re smarter than Sherlock Holmes or Monk. Within the first ten minutes of any crime drama, simply pick out whichever business person has been introduced as a character and say: “That’s who did it!”

Here is the power elite’s plan: Let’s fuck up the free market then blame the free market for being fucked up.

I’m thinking the next movie I produce is going to be called “Fire!!!” I’m aiming for a huge opening weekend in crowded theaters.

Do the vultures at airport security show extra interest in your carrion bags?

I drive a Marginal Utility Vehicle.

Just saw a Victoria’s Secret commercial on TV. You know what Victoria’s secret is? If you have the Victoria’s Secret models, you don’t need the stupid Victoria’s Secret lingerie.

One of these days I’m going to be alone in a dark alley with Brady Center Vice President Dennis A. Henigan. I’m going to be packing heat. Henigan is going to look at me with fear in his eyes. Then I’m going to shoot the crap out of the scumbag who tries to mug Henigan, and Henigan will finally have a Come to Jesus moment about the usefulness of honest citizens carrying concealed handguns for protection.

There is only one right answer to the question, “Honey, does this make me look fat?” It’s, “No, darling, actually, it’s quite slimming.”

Is there no end to the propaganda needed to continue kidnapping children on a daily basis and forcing them into the mind prisons called schools? The day I was first legally allowed to quit school was the first day of freedom of my life. I then went back long enough to start college … and realized within a semester that quitting college was as necessary to my ability to think and learn as quitting school in the first place.

My parents taught me to read before I ever entered a classroom, and I’ve spent my life reading a grand all-you-can-eat buffet of knowledge. Nothing that was ever shoved at me by some dead-eyed bureaucrat in a classroom was ever as interesting to me as what I first learned by reading comic books, then later books of every other sort.

The education level of this country could be raised immeasurably by shutting down every school and using the money to fund libraries.

Of course today — with virtually the entire store of human knowledge available to anyone with an Internet connection — even the public library is unnecessary.

If I can read, I don’t thank a teacher — I thank my parents.

I thank the authors who wrote the books I read.

And now I’ve written a dozen books of my own, and articles, essays, poems, and screenplays.

All despite the effort of schools and bureaucrats to shove my mind into their little jello molds.

Every snow day — every little sniffle that keeps a child out of the reach of monsters who blame children and parents for not wanting to listen to their boring crap — is a day well spent.

I went years thinking Fritz Weaver played Dr. Falken in the movie WarGames — it was John Wood — and for years I thought it was James Cromwell playing the President in Clear and Present Danger — it was Donald Moffat.

I might as well just accept it. It’s impossible to oppose people without being lumped in with people who oppose the people I’m opposing but whom I oppose as much as the first people I’m opposing.

Let me try saying that another way. Just because I oppose B, and C also opposes B, doesn’t mean I agree with C, including agreeing with C on the reasons I’m opposing B. I’m A, damn it!

1933 Nazi Book Burning
1933 Nazi Book Burning

Hey, can we all play? I propose we all get together for a mass burning: the Quran, the King James Bible, The Book of Mormon, Dianetics, Atlas Shrugged, an American Flag … and since I don’t want to feel left out, Alongside Night. Damn, how else can I get rid of all the used copies selling on eBay so I can sell new ones?

Why is it that everyone who tries to rewrite me thinks they’re gilding the lily, but they’re really gelding it?

The difference between bad and good screen acting — particularly for the independent filmmaker often working with less experienced actors — is how little the director can convince the actor to do.

Dialogue of the day: [Said in church] “Until I saw you here I felt like an alien in a whorehouse.”

I have no enthusiasm to support the rights and customs of those who have no enthusiasm to support my rights and customs.

I would recommend reading Ludwig von Mises’ Human Action to Jesus Christ, Himself.

Libertarianism is a moral philosophy entirely dependent on the concept of abstract rights providing moral limitations on human action. Negating either the concept of “morality” or negating that rights are abstractions referring to moral boundaries on human action negates libertarianism as well.

If I had to choose the most memorable character from any novel I’ve ever read in my entire life, it would be Colonel Richard Baslim — AKA “Baslim the Cripple” — from Robert A. Heinlein’s 1957 novel, Citizen of the Galaxy.

The heartbreak, to me, of watching a movie like Michael Moore’s Capitalism: A Love Story is not how much Michael Moore gets wrong but how damnably much he gets right.

The purpose of having a legal system enabling the free market is not to enrich a non-productive Wall Street thief class who conspire with Washington power-brokers to protect their mega-thefts.

It’s to protect the property rights of productive individuals to keep what they earn. That Michael Moore’s solution is worse than the problem doesn’t eliminate the problem: capitalism is supposed to enrich the builders of better mousetraps, not rats.

No is easy. Yes is hard.

Jesus Christ is not your slave.

Even by anarchocapitalist standards, a State’s defense of a property right does not invalidate the natural right of ownership of the property right being defended.

I have always hated the word “blog.” I’ve always thought it belonged in a sentence like this: “Dude, I got so wasted last night I bent over to kiss my girlfriend and blogged all over her tits!”

‎”Gun, a kind of metal wand that Muggles use to kill each other” — J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban

Hmmm. Given the Order of the Phoenix, I wonder whether Rowling believes in the right to keep and bear wands?

God is the King of Heaven, right? It says so in all the prayers. You know who has a really tough job? His court jester.

Here’s a thought from the Twilight Zone. I wrote “Profile in Silver.” I’m arguing that the profile can be property, not just the silver.

Arguing that existing copyright laws nullify an author’s right to license copying of a novel he’s written is like arguing existing eminent domain laws nullify a builder’s right to lease a house he’s made. It’s changing the subject to the crimes of statists who trample all property rights when supposed defenders of all property rights carve out an exception denying rights of ownership for those whose product is Art.

This article is Copyright © 2010 The J. Neil Schulman Living Trust. All rights reserved.

My comic thriller Lady Magdalene’s — a movie I wrote, produced, directed, and acted in it — is now available for sale or rental on Video On Demand. If you like the way I think, I think you’ll like this movie. Check it out!

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