J. Neil Schulman
@ Agorist.com
@ Agorist.com
Go to book’s beginning.
Read the previous chapter Chapter XXIX
Escape from Heaven
A Novel by J. Neil Schulman
Chapter 30
Because the electoral contest for the governorship of earth was called off before the balloting began, I never found out how it would have turned out. We only know it would have been a tight race. The Nielsen polls we conducted during the debate showed Jesus ahead, but the polling was within the margin of error so that doesn’t tell us anything definitive.
If you get a chance, could you please add a comment below telling us how you would have voted?
You know, people think that Heaven is a place. It isn’t really. The beautiful buildings, the nice parks, the good restaurants that I found when I first got to Heaven, all that is just stuff. It’s good stuff, stuff that makes life more comfortable, more convenient, and more fun, but when all is said and done, as George Carlin puts it, it’s all just stuff.
That’s why it was no big deal for God to abandon Heaven to Lucifer. As soon as she’d agreed to God’s one condition for surrender, that any resurrected humans and angels who wished to stay with him were free to leave, he had back all of Heaven that mattered.
God never surrendered anything of lasting value to Satan. All that she’d got was leftovers. And when her heart finally melted and she saw the truth, Lucifer realized that not only had she been fighting for nothing, she had finally achieved it in full measure.
Our race is used to suffering the losses of wars. Some of us cry about the stuff we lose. I’m as guilty of that as the next guy. But there is no real disaster except the loss of someone you love, and in the universes that God had made, the only way you can lose someone for good is if one of you goes into hiding, yourself.
I got a postcard from Jesus and Lucifer just as the two of them left New Heaven for their honeymoon. They never got a chance to have one the first time they were married. Believe it or not, they’re spending their honeymoon in Hell.
Jesus suggested a plan to Lucy that they both incarnate themselves into her universe, propagate a new genetic line, and introduce some revolutionary individualistic ideas into that dismally uniform world, saving the billions of identical people that Lucy had unintentionally condemned to misery.
I can’t wait to find out how it went. I’m sure it would be a story worth telling.
Written in Culver City, California.
Completed October 1, 2001
with minor editing in 2010 for
serialization here.
My comic thriller Lady Magdalene’s — a movie I wrote, produced, directed, and acted in it — is now available for sale or rental on Amazon.com Video On Demand. If you like the way I think, I think you’ll like this movie. Check it out!
March 5, 2010 - 9:43 pm
Boy, I’d love to say I’d vote for The Savior without hesitation.
Put in a situation where the choice was right there before me…I’m not so sure.
I’ve had plenty of occasions where I’ve clearly, consciously turned my back on God in favor of some temporal pleasure.
Taking the road more traveled by makes a hell of a difference, too. So to speak.
March 7, 2010 - 3:31 am
Definitely would have voted for Jesus! My vote is already in for Him anyway!
A very interesting allegory, Neil! I like so many things about how you tell it. It’s like you’re personally spinning a really good yarn to just me! … Although, it might be a bit awkward in parts!
I like how you’ve fitted in so many kudos to people you admire in the story, and while CS Lewis, in his SciFi and fantasy allegories was a lot more respectful of the attributes of God (:o), I get the idea that you have been inspired by them, as I have been.
An inventive and satisfying happy ending!
March 7, 2010 - 7:29 am
You raise an interesting point, Ian, with regard to “respect” for “the attributes of God.” But one is more informal with someone who you think of as family than one is with a stranger, yes?
March 7, 2010 - 11:48 pm
I’ve always had an attraction to redheads, so if I didn’t abstain, I’d probably vote for “Lucy”. Got some ‘splaining to do…
Thanks for the fun read.