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Escape from Heaven
A Novel by J. Neil Schulman
Chapter 30


Because the electoral contest for the governorship of earth was called off before the balloting began, I never found out how it would have turned out. We only know it would have been a tight race. The Nielsen polls we conducted during the debate showed Jesus ahead, but the polling was within the margin of error so that doesn’t tell us anything definitive.

If you get a chance, could you please add a comment below telling us how you would have voted?

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You know, people think that Heaven is a place. It isn’t really. The beautiful buildings, the nice parks, the good restaurants that I found when I first got to Heaven, all that is just stuff. It’s good stuff, stuff that makes life more comfortable, more convenient, and more fun, but when all is said and done, as George Carlin puts it, it’s all just stuff.

That’s why it was no big deal for God to abandon Heaven to Lucifer. As soon as she’d agreed to God’s one condition for surrender, that any resurrected humans and angels who wished to stay with him were free to leave, he had back all of Heaven that mattered.

God never surrendered anything of lasting value to Satan. All that she’d got was leftovers. And when her heart finally melted and she saw the truth, Lucifer realized that not only had she been fighting for nothing, she had finally achieved it in full measure.

Our race is used to suffering the losses of wars. Some of us cry about the stuff we lose. I’m as guilty of that as the next guy. But there is no real disaster except the loss of someone you love, and in the universes that God had made, the only way you can lose someone for good is if one of you goes into hiding, yourself.

I got a postcard from Jesus and Lucifer just as the two of them left New Heaven for their honeymoon. They never got a chance to have one the first time they were married. Believe it or not, they’re spending their honeymoon in Hell.

Jesus suggested a plan to Lucy that they both incarnate themselves into her universe, propagate a new genetic line, and introduce some revolutionary individualistic ideas into that dismally uniform world, saving the billions of identical people that Lucy had unintentionally condemned to misery.

I can’t wait to find out how it went. I’m sure it would be a story worth telling.


This has been

A Jesulu Production

Written in Culver City, California.

Completed October 1, 2001
with minor editing in 2010 for
serialization here.

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Escape from Heaven is
Copyright © 2002 J. Neil Schulman &
Copyright © 2010 The J. Neil Schulman Living Trust.
All rights reserved.

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